You Are OK, Really

Do you find yourself hanging on to old ways of being and thinking that no longer serve you? Are these old ways cluttering up the closets of your heart and mind? My friend, it’s time to Marie Kondo yourself.

Maybe you’re hanging on to old beliefs about money or your self-worth. Maybe you spend way too much time people-pleasing, desperate for other people’s approval. Honestly, most of us have hang-ups of some kind in all of these areas. Let me tell you, you are enough and you don’t need that B.S. I’m saying that to myself as much as I’m saying it to you. I’ve spent too much energy caring about what other people think, being afraid to step on someone else’s toes.

Let me be clear, I’m not saying we should all be jerks and just crush people’s souls under the heels of our boots. What I’m saying is that we need to be honest with ourselves and we need to be honest with other people. We also need to have the courage to believe—to know—that we are OK and we are enough regardless of what anyone else thinks about us or how much money is in our bank account. Period. It takes a lot of energy to constantly worry about keeping everybody else happy. And it is FUTILE!

Like pretty much everything else in life, particularly the big things, whether pros or cons, this stuff started in childhood. It served a purpose. It kept you “safe” in some way. Not anymore. Now it’s just getting in the way and sucking up your energy. If you don’t want to do something, politely say “no” (or maybe not so politely depending on the situation). This is about boundaries. Your boundaries matter. You have a right to them.

If boundaries are kind of a new thing for you, this may feel uncomfortable. Even if you have been working on your boundaries, this can still feel uncomfortable. When we’ve learned that it’s more important to keep other people happy than to take care of our own needs, or that someone won’t love us if we don’t do what they want, it can feel super uncomfortable and cause all kinds of anxiety. But a funny thing will happen: You won’t die. And you’ll feel a tiny bit stronger and realize that you matter too and that it doesn’t depend on what anyone else thinks about you.

(Image of woman from canva.com)